It's Just a Report
by istanzia
Summary: Report: a usually formal record of the proceedings of a meeting or session. So why was it so hard to write one? Everyone has to find their style of writing, and that applies to Ed also.


Firefly Productions presents  
A Fanfic based on Hiromu Arakawa's Hagane no Renkinjutsushi

spoilers for episode 9

**It's Just a Report**

We see a pristine white sheet before us. The edges are sharp and clear and the date is found on the top right corner of the page, written in sharp writing that is slightly angled to the left. There is nothing else on the page, no lines written in pencil to make sure the writing is straight, and more importantly, no words.

We see a human hand approach the paper from the left side because the writer happens to be left handed. Human fingers curl around the pen and hesitantly start on the paper.

To Colonel Mustang:

There is a pause and suddenly, the hand tightens and the words are quickly crossed out in angry black ink slashes. The paper is crumpled fiercely and thrown over the blond's shoulder as he leans back against the train seat.

"I can't do this!" he said as he threw the offending pen away from him.

"Niisan..." said the huge set of armor that sat across from him. Alphonse had neatly ducked out of the way of the incoming projectile and reached over to grab it. He handed the pen back to Ed.

"Sorry, Al... I just can't do it!" said Ed as he sighed and grabbed another blank sheet of paper from his case and once more, the short blond wrote the date on the top right corner. He stared in frustruation and imagined the paper mocking him for not being able to write anything. Around him showed the end result of any paper that dared double cross the Fullmetal Alchemist. Crumpled and torn pieces decorated the floor of the place he was occupying.

"What are you trying to do, Nii-san?" asked Al as he finaly decided to ask. He had watched his brother wrack his brains for the last 30 minutes of the ride and all he had seen were flying pieces of paper thrown by an angry brother. He picked up one of the sheets up and uncrumpled it. It contained today's date at the top right corner and a salutation. He tried to read the writing under the angry slashed ink marks on it. "Report to Roy Mustang?"

"That sounded too elementary. Too much like a school report." said Ed as he gnawed on the end of his pen. He supported his head with one hand and looked up, being the very imagine of a thinker.

"You just have to write a report to the Colonel, right?" asked Al as he began to comprehend what had gotten into his brother.

"Yeah... I have to tell him what happened and all that stuff. Make is short, and to the point. Make it sound profesional. Yadda, yadda, yadda...." said Ed as he made a face.

"That doesn't sound too difficult," said Al as he studied his brother. "Just tell him about that Yoki guy and how they were being mean."

"I just can't write that the guy was an idiot who was trying to cheating the people!"

"And why not? Isn't that what was happening?" asked Al.

"But... but..."

"And what else happened?" asked Al. "I'm sure the Colonel will want to know that the villagers are back in control and are happy now. And that they don't hate alchemists that much now, right?"

"But..." started Ed again.

"Nii-san... you're making this too hard, you know." said Al as he tried to calm his brother.

"You don't think he'll mind if I just write it like that, Al? He's a colonel! I can't just..."

"Besides, I'm sure the colonel has to read many reports, which are probably boring. You can make yours interesting! And use lots of imagery and figurative language!"

"Al... this is a report on our first mission, not a well written essay that's at least two pages long on what we did over our vacation..."

"Nii-san, you're being too picky." said Al. He started gathering up the pages around their seat. "Just be honest. You're a good writer, you have good grammar and good spelling. If worse comes to worse, it'll just be boring."

"Al!! You're not helping..." said Ed as he sighed and leaned his head against his case.

"You don't have to make it too formal, Nii-san," started Al, trying to give him more advice. "Afterall, this is your first report, and he won't be expecting perfection. It's just a report after all."

"Yeah right," muttered Ed under his breath. His nervous fingers ran through his hair in frustration. Al continued lecturing his brother. While he was still speaking, the shorter alchemist tuned out the armor's voice, conjuring up images in his head of the likely outcomes. Slowly, his vision glazed over as he imagined the likely conversation the Colonel would have with him.

_"Fullmetal, I've summoned you becaue of your latest report," said the Flame Alchemist as he relaxed into his comfy desk chair. Edward stood sullenly before him, not daring to look up at his face. "You're spelling is atrocious, Fullmetal, and you are clearly not using the standard three point essay format." Ed grumbled under his breath._

_"I know you are still young, but surely you learned this in grade school. To all papers, you must have an Introduction, a Body and a Conclusion."_

_Stupid Mustang,... just bothering him about such small details..._

_"Your vocabulary is that of a fourth grader!"_

_Was the Colonel comparing him to a 9 year old child????_

_"You lack imagination in your figurative speech. Your metaphors and similes are overused cliches."_

_Who cared about figurative speech anyway? It was just a STUPID report!_

_"And to end it all... you misspelled my name, Fullmetal. What do you have to say for yourself?"_

_Stupid Colonel... calling him short, eh? Thinking he was only 9 years old, right? Saying that he couldn't talk like an adult nor compose like a writer eh???_

"NII-SAN!" shouted Al into Ed's face. "You're not listening to me, are you?"

"Who cares!" exclaimed Ed as his eyes snapped back into reality. "It's just a report!"

If an armor could look confused, it would look exactly like Al. Hadn't that been what he had been telling his older brother for the past fifteen minutes? However, looking into Ed's eyes, Al could see the fiery conviction that one had when they finally discovered something even though others had been pointing it out for the past half hour or year.

"Yes, nii-san. It's just a report," said Al as he leaned back in his seat. Maybe his brother had gotten over his writer's block by blurting that out. Maybe he just had to admit it outloud to himself that it was 'just a report'. He looked over at his brother who was currently speedily writing across the sheet. Then again, maybe it was just his brother acting crazy.

The next day...

"Here's your report, Colonel," said Edward as he stood before Mustang's desk and threw down sheets of hand written paper.

"Ah, Fullmetal," said Colonel as he picked up the sheets. "Thank you for writing your report so promptly." With that, the Colonel calmly placed the pages on top of a growing pile of papers on the side of his desk. Edward twitched. The Colonel then calmly began to continue with his other paperwork.

Edward looked at the pile of sheets. Those had been the same papers he had seen days ago before leaving on the mission. This pile was probably the 'Deal with Later' pile...

"Dangit, Mustang. Aren't you going to at least read my stupid report?" exploded Edward. He had, afterall, spent all of yesterday stressing about it.

"I'll read it later, Fullmetal. You're dismissed," said Mustang as he signed the bottom and placed his signed sheet on a much smaller stack of sheets. These were the ones he had finished dealing with.

"Don't you care what happened?" asked Ed.

"Of course I do," said Mustang. Read, read, jot notes, sign, grab the next piece of paperwork.

"Then?" asked Ed.

"Then what?" counter-asked Mustang, looking up from his signing.

"Then read it!"

"Fullmetal... it may be news to you but I'm not here to read bookreports."

"Bookreports?" Ed glared at the Colonel.

"You may not realize it but the purpose of the report is for you to realize what you did and why you did it. For example, Yoki. After writing it down, you realize that you've just sentanced Yoki to a period of time away from his beloved niche in the military/political system all because of his greed. Are you satisfied with what you have done?"

"Of course. The looser deserved it!" ranted Fullmetal.

"And are you satisfied with turning over the possesions and deeds into the hands of the common people?" continued Mustang.

"Yes! They know what they're doing better than that Yoki creep," stated the young alchemist.

"Then all is well. You're dismissed, Fullmetal." said the Colonel in a sharp and clipped tone of voice. The authority in his Colonel's voice spurred Ed to turn and begin marching out the door when all of a sudden, he realized something.

"Wait... you knew all along what I did?" asked Edward, his eyes narrowing in anger. Colonel Mustang finished signing his document, looked up and smirked.

"I am your superior. Of course I know. Now, you are dismissed, Fullmetal."

end

Author's Notes: My first complete FMA fic. I hope you enjoyed it. Comments and Criticisms are more than welcome. looks at piles of summaries and story ideas and half finished fanfics You'll hear from me again one of these days... xD

October 21, 2004


End file.
